Been Sick... Story of my life..

Arg I hate being sick. More then anything. And as messed up as it may sound, I can make myself feel better quite easily, but that's going against so much that I stand for now. (crazy talk. Hey it's my blog, and you'd eventually learn/hear rumors sometime) So I just fight it off.

I still need to figure out my soon to be living situation. My back up plan might become my actual plan. But living in Vacaville could be awesome... I can save some money, less of a commute, cheaper rent, OOOOh I could act! and have more time to paint. Maybe find someone to have creative time with, see my friends more. Be closer to my Pleasanton and Oakland friends. Okay.. This will be okay.

I had so much work to catch up on this morning, since I missed the last two days of work.. But, it's almost done now, after an hour and a half of being here. So back to my normal routine of reading blogs, answering phones, sending faxes, wikipedia-ing and googling anything interesting... BTW girl moment blog coming next. hah.

The fairer sex...

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Joanna Newsom --- This Side of the Blue

Cuz if you read it, it's true... right?

I obsess over books, stories... the idea of something solid... What does that even mean.. Solid. I'm on this never ending journey to find something solid, in a world full of liquid moments, and electrical shocks. Sudoku.. that's a solid. Judge all you want, but I pour myself into those silly number puzzles, cuz it's real. There is a certain way it must be finished, and nothing else will get you across the goal line. So I find a book that will suck me in... Where I can just zone out this world and enter another. Probably the best thing I know how to do. All of me. Ha. Me.

I love the way words look.. (sound is another story) I have The First Five by Henry Rollins with SO many page marks, of passages and lines, and quotes that I just NEED to make some art to. If not having the words on the painting.. but just being inspired by them...

The above pictures are collected from all over, fuck sources right now. I don't care.. but each has a different font, emotion, story to it... There is a connection to each one from all of me.

It's been about a month since the last time I really painted anything... and there is that feeling that I'm used to, from inside out. It's crawling up and out and I really need to get to work on something. I would really go back to being crazy with out art. heh. Best medication on the planet for someone like me. Or just me. Ha. Me.

My current cravings...

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Sew it up tighter...

note to self. shitty poetry that feel soooo good to get out into words, into space, into their inbox and brain... never gets the point across...

Granted, i sent it a while back, not to get anything out of it.. just to show, how i hold emotions. Hell it's a two way street right? Friends do this sort of thing. Share. Collaborate.

I always want to surround myself with people who have a passion for "the arts". Hell, a passion for anything is good... cuz it shows me that you care about something so deeply it hurts. I do. So i need people around who do too. I want more people to make art with. More zombie love missed connections on craigslist correspondence, more painting nights, more co-op poems, here take this book and do stuff to it, give it back and it'll be my turn.

I live for that sorta junk.