Because you are beautiful from the inside out...

Source for 2.
Source for 3 is screen caps from Girl, Interupted.

The Past Stays With You, To Push You Forward...

Morning Tumblr roundup.
1. Screencap from Girl, Interupted
2. Esra Roise
3. Unknown

What I love about movies...

I wanted to see this movie back when it came out, and as usual, forget all about it. Last night at my every Tuesday night plans of food, tv shows and movies, we decided to watch this. I may ask a lot of questions, mostly to myself, (which feels good cuz I was always one step ahead of what was going on, in a good way though not a "I saw that coming" way) This is beautifully acted, and I really recommend checking it out.

It's on Instant Netflix if that helps!

I effin loved that game!

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I can only dream of being as beautiful as this book/movie...

Yes. It's that time again. I'm almost done listening to The Virgin Suicides audio book. Next comes watching the movie. Then reading the hard copy. My obsession is crazy, but calming in a way. I just wish there was more to learn. Nothing is as beautiful as that book. And the movie does a darn good job. (with a few mistakes)

It's my own personal support team. For better or for worse...

Source a doodle I did years ago.

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Source trailer for Being John Malcovich. I love that movie, and it's on my Need To Own list... Ever since seeing it as a teen, I've been obsessed with how *I* believe the movie deals with Dissociative Identity Disorder, with out ever saying it does.

I could write/talk for hours about this topic, and probably just confuse people... but it's so about D.I.D. The scenes were you are looking through John's eyes, but can see the blackness around the eye openings.. haha I didn't realize that not everyone sees the world like that.

There probably will be plenty of posts about these types of topics, as I get closer and closer to my 5 year anniversary in Aug. Sure each year off meds is better and better, though harder, but in a good way. I'm constantly learning what I need to to live, and it's a fantastic journey. But for some reason 5 seems like a solid number. 5 years after 3 years of out of control. 8 years ago I was someone I hardly can recognize now.. But thats always an issue.

I'm rambling. Meh. I just wanna watch BJM again. :)

Promise promise!

Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...



Joel: I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.

Source
Source unknown. looks like a Post Secret
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind video ft Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy
Quotes from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

I love/hate when a movie makes me feel such an overflow of emotions. Eternal Sunshine does that to me. The whole damn thing, everything about it. I find myself quoting Joel's line about dying right there, in my head. And just putting this post together, especially the finding the video and the quotes, had me bawling my eyes out behind my desk. I have 5 min to clean myself up ... haha.

613 Kinds of Sadness

This was originally posted on Tuesday June 30th... And as I'm currently listening to this audio book... (again) and I know this part is coming up... I had to re post it... This book is so amazingly wonderful. (The movie is good too but the book is a trillion times better) And the audio book makes it even more interesting... Nothing like my commute home with the audio book playing to make me crack up with the people in other cars wondering what's wrong with me.

I get so sucked into books.. but this one... audio book format especially has me crying, laughing, repeating things out loud... rewinding and saying things with the narrator... i hate having to turn it off when i get to my destination.. i want to crawl into the story and see it, clearer then my mind paints it.. i want to live it.. the good and the bad.. I want to touch it... I want to be them. The only other book that captures me this much.. Is The Virgin Suicides...




From the book Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. One of the most amazing books I've ever read. Also made into a movie starring Elijah Wood (though amazing, not as deep as the book.)

The 613 Kinds of Sadness by Brod D.

The following encyclopedia of sadness was found on the body of Brod D. The original 613 sadnesses, written in her diary, corresponded to the 613 commandments of our (not their) Torah. Shown below is what was salvageable after Brod was recovered. (Her diary’s wet pages printed the sadnesses onto her body. Only a small fraction [55] were legible. the other 558 sadnesses are lost forever, and it is hoped that, without knowing what they are, no one will have to experience them.) The diary from which they came was never found.

SADNESSES OF THE BODY: Mirror sadness; Sadness of [looking] like or unlike one's parent; Sadness of [looking] like or unlike one’s parent; Sadness of not knowing if your [body is] normal; Sadness of knowing your body is not normal; Sadness of knowing your body is normal; Beauty Sadness; Sadness of m[ak]eup; Sadness of physical pain; Pins-and-[needles sadness]; Sadness of clothes [sic]; Sadness of the quavering eyelid; Sadness of a missing rib; Noticeable sad[ness]; Sadness of going unnoticed; The sadness of having genitals that are not like those of your lover; The sadness of having genitals that are like those of your lover; Sadness of hands….

SADNESSES OF THE COVENANT: Sadness of God’s love; Sadness of God’s back [sic]; Favorite-child sadness; Sadness of b[ein]g sad in front of one’s God; Sadness of the opposite of belief [sic]; What if? sadness; Sadness of God alone in heaven; Sadness of a God who would need people to pray to Him….

SADNESSES OF THE INTELLECT: Sadness of being misunderstood [sic]; Humor sadness; Sadness of love wit[hou]t release; Sadne[ss of be]ing smart; Sadness of not knowing enough words to [express what you mean]; Sadness of having options; Sadness of wanting sadness; Sadness of confusion; Sadness of domes[tic]ated birds; Sadness of fini[shi]ng a book; Sadness of remembering; Sadness of forgetting; Anxiety sadness….

INTERPERSONAL SADNESSES: Sadness of being sad in front of one’s parent; Sa[dn]ess of false love; Sadness of love [sic]; Friendship sadness; Sadness of a bad convers[at]ion; Sadness of the could-have-been; Secret sadness...

SADNESSES OF SEX AND ART: Sadness of arousal being an unordinary physical state; Sadness of feeling the need to create beautiful things; Sadness of the anus; Sadness of eye contact during fellatio and cunnilingus; Kissing sadness; Sadness of moving too quickly; Sadness of not mo[vi]ng; Nude model sadness; Sadness of portraiture; Sadness of Pinchas T’s only notable paper, "To the Dust; From Man You Came and to Man You Shall Return," in which he argued it would be possible, in theory, for life and art to be reversed…

like when a hurricane and a tornado collide...

Source

Source seems to be a movie called Dreamers.. that I MUST see now.

Source

Source

The Motorcycle Diaries

IMDB
Website

Quotes that really hit me:

Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: How is it possible to feel nostalgia for a world I never knew?

Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: Even though we are too insignificant to be spokesmen for such a noble cause, we believe, and this journey has only confirmed this belief, that the division of American into unstable and illusory nations is a complete fiction. We are one single mestizo race from Mexico to the Magellan Straits. And so, in an attempt to free ourselves from narrow minded provincialism, I propose a toast to Peru and to a united America.

Miner's Wife: Are you two looking for work?
Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: No, we aren't looking for work.
Miner's Wife: No?... Then why are you traveling?
Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: We travel just to travel.
Miner's Wife: Bless you... Blessed be your travels.

613 Kinds of Sadness

From the book Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. One of the most amazing books I've ever read. Also made into a movie starring Elijah Wood (though amazing, not as deep as the book.)

The 613 Kinds of Sadness by Brod D.

The following encyclopedia of sadness was found on the body of Brod D. The original 613 sadnesses, written in her diary, corresponded to the 613 commandments of our (not their) Torah. Shown below is what was salvageable after Brod was recovered. (Her diary’s wet pages printed the sadnesses onto her body. Only a small fraction [55] were legible. the other 558 sadnesses are lost forever, and it is hoped that, without knowing what they are, no one will have to experience them.) The diary from which they came was never found.

SADNESSES OF THE BODY: Mirror sadness; Sadness of [looking] like or unlike one's parent; Sadness of [looking] like or unlike one’s parent; Sadness of not knowing if your [body is] normal; Sadness of knowing your body is not normal; Sadness of knowing your body is normal; Beauty Sadness; Sadness of m[ak]eup; Sadness of physical pain; Pins-and-[needles sadness]; Sadness of clothes [sic]; Sadness of the quavering eyelid; Sadness of a missing rib; Noticeable sad[ness]; Sadness of going unnoticed; The sadness of having genitals that are not like those of your lover; The sadness of having genitals that are like those of your lover; Sadness of hands….

SADNESSES OF THE COVENANT: Sadness of God’s love; Sadness of God’s back [sic]; Favorite-child sadness; Sadness of b[ein]g sad in front of one’s God; Sadness of the opposite of belief [sic]; What if? sadness; Sadness of God alone in heaven; Sadness of a God who would need people to pray to Him….

SADNESSES OF THE INTELLECT: Sadness of being misunderstood [sic]; Humor sadness; Sadness of love wit[hou]t release; Sadne[ss of be]ing smart; Sadness of not knowing enough words to [express what you mean]; Sadness of having options; Sadness of wanting sadness; Sadness of confusion; Sadness of domes[tic]ated birds; Sadness of fini[shi]ng a book; Sadness of remembering; Sadness of forgetting; Anxiety sadness….

INTERPERSONAL SADNESSES: Sadness of being sad in front of one’s parent; Sa[dn]ess of false love; Sadness of love [sic]; Friendship sadness; Sadness of a bad convers[at]ion; Sadness of the could-have-been; Secret sadness...

SADNESSES OF SEX AND ART: Sadness of arousal being an unordinary physical state; Sadness of feeling the need to create beautiful things; Sadness of the anus; Sadness of eye contact during fellatio and cunnilingus; Kissing sadness; Sadness of moving too quickly; Sadness of not mo[vi]ng; Nude model sadness; Sadness of portraiture; Sadness of Pinchas T’s only notable paper, "To the Dust; From Man You Came and to Man You Shall Return," in which he argued it would be possible, in theory, for life and art to be reversed…

Falling In Love, With Death...

I watched this movie On Demand last night, after wanting to see it for ages, and fell in love. This is truly a real love story, for someone like me.. The first minute of the film, I already was pulled in, and knew what was going on.. It's beautifully made, with a wonderful soundtrack (Gogol Bordello anyone?! Yes, Please!) and the imagery is breathtaking.. You really should check it out!

Feeling Original...

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From Garden State.

Star Trek

So I went and saw the new Star Trek movie TWICE since it's been released, and am still blown away.

Fans of the older Star Trek, will love it... The jokes they throw in left me dying the first time I saw it.. and during the 2nd time I found even more to love... And a few silent chuckles to myself.

People who are knew to the Star Trek world, will be thrown in to something that's changed, and yet.. it'll grab you and suck you in. You don't need to be a previous fan to like this movie.. The acting/characters are amazing, (I'm pretty much in love with all them. But especially Spock and Chekhov. Tons of action, great visuals, and emotional, heart wrenching moments!

I suggest you all go see it.. Now.. Go on kids... Enjoy the best movie of the summer.. (Yes, yes there are TONS of amazing movies coming out this summer, but this one I think, will be my favorite of the year by far.)

Movies Make My Mood.

Garden State


Lost in Translation


Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind


The Virgin Suicides


The Royal Tenenbaums

Above our some screen caps from a few of my favorite movies... To someone like me, movies, pictures, stories.. something that can always be "there", obtained... is better then memories.. I cannot always trust my mind to remember or know things from the past...

This is why I write notes in the books I read, and will reread them over and over again. Why I take a lot of pictures of my life, and have them hanging on my walls. That way I can always go back, day after day and remember, naming off the people, trying to capture that feeling again. And this is why I watch movies again and again. I try to absorb the stories, find the moments which pull my heart in, the colors, the feeling, the emotions they draw out of me..

Please click on the images and see them at a proper size.. Enjoy!

A Splash of Color

Source I love the look of theses...




Source I want a table covered in these.. the colors are gorgeous, the textures look splendid together...




Source Can also found in the movie Marie Antionette. I love the movie.. the colors and music make it that much better for me. Not that it's VERY true to the real story, but it does make the girl in me squee with delight.